Grateful for all I have

Thank you all for all you have done! I have to say, that after this weekend, I have never felt so blessed. This weekend was filled with chaos and lots and lots of money spent on things that mostly got tossed at the end. It was stressful and crazy. But at the end, I have never felt so blessed. I originally told Nic that I had no interest in a reception. I am from Spokane and only know so many people in Portland. I knew I wouldn’t get a very large turn out for the amount of work that would go into it. While he agreed, his family did not. They pushed and pushed and finally we caved and said we’d do it. After all, after Nic’s last wedding, people were very upset he never had a reception in Portland.

After sending out about 200 invitations, mostly to Nic side, we began planning. Everyone sounded so excited. Then the day of the reception came. Nic’s mom, younger sister and five friends were all that came on his side. After all that he had been told, even the people that begged us to do it didn’t show. The majority of the gifts came from my two receptions, doctors who had gifts mailed to us, and my co-workers who not only gave us gifts at the reception, but gifts the day we got married.

After the reception, we hung out and played a very spirited game of keep away. While I walked away with more bruises then I can count and am so sore that every movement seems to be strained, it was a lot of fun. Then we all stayed up far too late laughing and joking.

After everyone left, I got a text message from Josh thanking me for letting him stay and hang out with the family. He doesn’t have a close or typical family situation and he said he doesn’t get to do that very often. I told him we didn’t mind at all and we would be more then happy to drag him to Spokane with us on our next visit. He told me I was very lucky to have such a family (which just shows you how bad his family must be).

I also had a long talk with a very sad Nic on Sunday. He was bummed his family never showed and that most of his friends bailed. Especially since no one had an even good excuse or even an excuse at all. I told him not to worry, that he now has a whole new family and we will obnoxiously be there whether he wants us or not.

But I look back on the weekend and I can’t help but be grateful. With people like Nic and Josh around, they help keep things in perspective. As dysfunctional as we are, we have always been there for each other. And together we have fun and stick together. That’s something I take for granted. It’s something that is rare in life these days.

I am grateful for you all.

The Wedding

Well, as you can guess, I’m married. Just to up date you all on the last few weeks, here is the whole story:

As many of you know, I have been very concerned over the fact that Nic was sealed to his ex-wife in the temple. While I know that men can be sealed to more than one woman, I wasn’t sure if we needed to take steps to make sure he could be sealed to me as well. We asked around and received conflicting opinions. We finally asked our bishop who called the stake president and we were assured that it only needed to state on his records that he was divorced. We then went to meet with the stake president two weeks before the scheduled wedding in Spokane when I made Nic ask again, just to be sure. Apparently there was a misunderstanding. Yes, it needed to state on his records that he was divorced. But we also needed a letter of “sealing clearance” from the first presidency. This involves a formal letter written by Nic to the first presidency, a formal request from the stake president, and a letter written from our bishop to Nic’s ex and her in turn writing a letter to the first presidency. All of these letters need to be received by Salt Lake and reviewed by the first presidency. Our stake president said he had seen these done in 7 days expedited. So we kept our date. Nine days before the wedding we got the bad news. Even if Annie was cooperative and did as we asked (which we anticipate she won’t), it’ll take a minimum of 4-6 weeks after Salt Lake receives the paperwork, and with the added stress of General Conference, we had no chance to get the letter in time. We were in quite a pickle. Either we could wait until we received the letter and be sealed then, or get married civilly and be sealed in a year. If we waited, we could not set a date until we had the letter in hand. Both of our jobs would require two weeks notice to reschedule our honeymoon and arrangements would have to be redone. Nic would have to continue searching for couches to sleep on as he was basically homeless. We’d most likely celebrate the reception before the wedding and last but not least, we could NOT receive clearance at all and have to wait anyway. So we chose to be wed civilly and rearranged everything to be married in Portland. Sadly our bishop and stake president were out of town so they transferred my records to the home ward so that bishop could perform the ceremony. He will be our new bishop.

We met with the new bishop and he told us he understood. He had been active his whole life, as had his wife. They tried to use their wedding to reactivate their inactive parents, but they didn’t go for it. After a discussion with their bishop, they chose to be married civilly in Portland and then drive to Salt Lake and be sealed the next day. After making all the arrangements, announcement out and everything, the bishop talked to the stake president and discovered they were not allowed to do this. In a difficult situation, they chose as we did and were married and then sealed a year later. I was comforted to know that we were not alone. I know it will be difficult, as we will be judged for the choices me made and assumptions will be made by many. But our bishop explained, the world is not perfect, the gospel is. Heavenly Father knows what is in our hearts and he has arranged back ups in case something should happen before we are sealed.

Anyhow, Nic and were married in a very small intimate ceremony on Saturday, March 27^th. We then went to lunch and headed to the coast. We were blessed with a beach house to stay in for free and we were there until Tuesday. Although the weather was awful, the coast is filled with plenty to keep us occupied including the wonderful Tillamook Cheese Factory. It was here that Nic first introduced me as his wife.